Whew, it’s been a little while since I’ve taken a moment to catch up on here and I must say, life is quite busy with a toddler. I spend 90% of my day chasing after this crazy little girl, while the other 10% is spent taking care of things around the house or lying on the couch and taking advantage of free time!
I wanted to share a story about something that happened just last week, but before I get into it, I should give some background info. Throughout the entire first year of Mila’s life, she pretty much refused to sleep. I know I’ve mentioned this a few times before, but sleep deprivation is a real thing, and it’s tortuous. During the first 6 weeks, she didn’t sleep more than 40 minutes at a time. It wasn’t until almost 10 months that she started sleeping longer than 2-3 hour increments consistently. Once she turned one, things became much easier, but she was still waking 2-3 times each night. I’ve always been so jealous of my mommy friends who say that their children have slept perfectly since day 1… I wish! However, after a long 18 months… I can FINALLY say that Mila is a wonderful sleeper! She goes down at 7:45pm and doesn’t wake until about 8:30am. She also takes a solid 3 hour nap from 1-4 in the afternoon. I am sooooooooo thankful that after all this time, she now knows how important sleep is for everyone!
Although our routine for naptime and bedtime are slightly different from one another, they both include some of the same steps. I change her diaper, put the sleep sack on, close the blackout curtains, turn on the white noise machine, we grab a baby doll, and head over to the rocking chair to get some snuggles in. Our children grow so quickly, and these moments won’t last forever… so I can’t help but to take in all the cuddles I can get for however long I can get them! We usually lay there for about 15 minutes, she’ll hold my hand and I’ll put my phone on dim and just rock.
At naptime, she’ll usually fall asleep in my arms, which I’ll then lay her down and quietly sneak out of the room. But before bed, she is always awake at the end of our little snuggle session and when it’s time to get up, we walk over to the crib… I gently put her down, rub her belly and whisper “I love you.” She always responds with, “I ya u,” smiles, and waves goodnight before rolling over and getting cozy.
So this is where my story comes into play. Last week, it was just about 1 pm and we had had a long, fun filled morning. Mila was very tired and definitely ready for a nap. She’ll usually let us know when she wants to sleep by walking over to the stairs, pointing up and saying “na…na” (nap). Let’s fast forward to just a few minutes after we made our way up to her room…she’s on the changing table and now comfy in her sleep sack. I pick her up and we put the white noise on and close the curtains. Just as I’m about to turn down the lights and head over to the rocking chair, she points towards her crib…
Me: “You want to go in your crib?”
Mila: Big smile, nods head up and down. “Yeah, yeah”
Me: “You don’t want to snuggle with mommy?”
Mila: Bigger smile, shakes head. “No, no”
My heart hurt! I know it sounds extremely dramatic, but those cuddles are so special and I clearly need them more than she does! I gave her a kiss and said, “okay, my big girl.” After laying her down, I rubbed her little belly and said “I love you!” She responded the way she always does, smiled, and rolled over. I walked out and 100% cried. Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy that she wanted to be independent and go to sleep on her own, but I couldn’t help but to also feel the sadness that came along with it.
As parents, I suppose we are going to experience lots of moments like this one. Everyday, our babies get older. Things are ever changing, and although there is no better feeling in the world than watching your little ones grow, it’s also one of the hardest things to witness because I think we all wish time wouldn’t go by so fast. I do want to say that this little burst of independence only lasted about two days before returning to her old ways and needing her mama’s snuggles again… thank goodness! It’s a lifelong journey that takes us all on an emotional rollercoaster, but I think it’s safe to say that nothing compares!
Mila Updates:
-She is still obsessed with her baby dolls! But now she likes to rock them, sing to them, feed them, pretend they’re crying and then bounce up and down to calm them as she whispers “shhhhh,” and of course covers them in millions of kisses! She also brings one everywhere we go!
-She still loves to dance, but now tries to sing along too!
-She is saying so many words
-Sleeping through the night
-We are still breastfeeding, but only before bed
-She loves to read
-We recently had our first real movie night, and she is now obsessed with Moana
-Loves to watch her Daddy play basketball… I can’t wait until we’re actually allowed in the arena again, the two of us are definitely going to be the loudest ones in there!
-She could go up and down a slide all day long
-Still uses her pacifier when it’s time to sleep
-She tries to steal food from anyone and everyone around her
-Tantrums!!!
-The sweetest personality and my best friend!
Sweet Little Kisses 